http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Mi5_5Pidi4
I just watched this video on youtube as part of my research, I was interested of course in a performance art piece about self perception. I liked the video, it was thought provoking to a point; the painting was beautiful and an expression of self.
What really caught me was the tag line though.
"How naked can one person be without taking any clothes off?"
That made me think and made me smile.
That one question was more inspirational to me than the video itself; and something I'd really like to think about for my own piece.
Vulnerability. Its something we all like to see on stage. Usually, the stage is a place for actors, often performance uses this and simultaneously breaks away from it for performers to be able to express themselves, to explore themselves....I want to know how it would be not just to perform myself, but to be myself. To be real on stage. That's a challenge.
Something Real on stage could be something heartbreaking.
There is of course, the possibility of padding softly into the realms of reality TV or autobiographical pieces- everything has been done before of course.
I want this to be something else. I want the audience to itch, I want them to be more uncomfortable with a reality on stage worse than a naked body. To give them that unease, as if I were nude before them, and staring- but to do this with words and stories and experiences. To do this with myself, and the self I am of others.
I have thought a lot also, of stories. Everyone has a story, yet everyone in the world seems to feel the same range of failures or faults. We are all the same person with one thousands personalities.
That is a statement I may well rebut at some point soon. It seems a little blasé. We shall see.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Monday, 31 August 2009
revelation.
So.
My other half sent me this vid http://vodpod.com/watch/1013276-fifty-people-one-question
and whilst it really had nothing to do with self help, it got me thinking, as he knew it would.
I decided I'd ask a load of people, strangers and friends, to record a vlog, stating what they hate most about their lives, and how they think they might achieve that.
This made me think again, about last year, the things I researched, the parts of abjection that really interested me. It was personal reaction. The section of my solo that grabbed me- the mirror.
Im interested in self perception. Why people see themselves as they do, why they judge themselves against others, and what they judge themselves against.
This is even evident in the latest blog post here. "people make me wonder"
Its strange I never saw this all until now, it all clicked.
I know where I stand, how I find peoples reactions and how I see myself, though I cant always say why.
For now, Im going to keep researching self help...but on top of this...I know where my interest lies, and just maybe, things will change and evolve...
My other half sent me this vid http://vodpod.com/watch/1013276-fifty-people-one-question
and whilst it really had nothing to do with self help, it got me thinking, as he knew it would.
I decided I'd ask a load of people, strangers and friends, to record a vlog, stating what they hate most about their lives, and how they think they might achieve that.
This made me think again, about last year, the things I researched, the parts of abjection that really interested me. It was personal reaction. The section of my solo that grabbed me- the mirror.
Im interested in self perception. Why people see themselves as they do, why they judge themselves against others, and what they judge themselves against.
This is even evident in the latest blog post here. "people make me wonder"
Its strange I never saw this all until now, it all clicked.
I know where I stand, how I find peoples reactions and how I see myself, though I cant always say why.
For now, Im going to keep researching self help...but on top of this...I know where my interest lies, and just maybe, things will change and evolve...
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
People amuse me.
This entry is less about self help and more about observation.
Watching people, especially on trains or at train stations amuses me.
Train stations have this very nervous energy- people know their train will be there on time, or would have been told otherwise, yet still, people seem unsure, five minutes before their train arrives they check the clock constantly and shift from foot to foot. Questions run like paint across their faces.
Not only "will my train come?" but "where should I stand on the platform?" and "what if I dont get a seat" or worse, "what if I have to sit next to the wierdo or the drunk?"
The last brings me onto train personalities.
Mostly people keep themselves to themselves, those you sit next to smile and move bags, some chat to you, some train goers talk to everyone and anyone. Some do their very hardest to pretend that no one else exists in the world.
Again, this latter point moves me on and in fact links to the latter of the last..
Recently I had a reserved seat on a train back from a long journey, so went down endless carriages to find it. I apologised to the woman for making her move her bag from the seat next to her (a small tactic for privacy we all use) however, she didnt smile or make eye contact at all. She was reading the whole way and every time I went into my bag or worked my mp3, she seemed to sink lower and lower into the pages of that book until the point where I honestly began to think she had forgotten her glasses. I imagined personalities for this person, who wanted to read and hide from me so badly.
Her clothes and features and demeanour suggested a soft, gentle woman; however, as we neared a popular station, she happened to call her (I assume) husband. She was stronger in voice than I had suspected, though as she suggested buying "salad bits" for tea, I couldnt help but feel smug that this was something I would have very much suggested for my imagined her.
I wonder, not for the first time, if I am, in fact, that weirdo that people dont want to sit near! I wonder still, how many imagined personailties there have been of myself and if any of them are close to the truth!?
Later, I watch a man on the platform, intellegent looking and well dressed- raise his arms in the universal sign for "what the hell are you on about?" at the announcement board!
So many people like to stare at my hair blatently , and whilst I dont mind, it makes me wonder if my apperance alone is its own performance? I certainly prevoke audiences and get a mixed reaction, I make people question things and I even seem to offer a source of entertainment. So?
Performance?
Watching people, especially on trains or at train stations amuses me.
Train stations have this very nervous energy- people know their train will be there on time, or would have been told otherwise, yet still, people seem unsure, five minutes before their train arrives they check the clock constantly and shift from foot to foot. Questions run like paint across their faces.
Not only "will my train come?" but "where should I stand on the platform?" and "what if I dont get a seat" or worse, "what if I have to sit next to the wierdo or the drunk?"
The last brings me onto train personalities.
Mostly people keep themselves to themselves, those you sit next to smile and move bags, some chat to you, some train goers talk to everyone and anyone. Some do their very hardest to pretend that no one else exists in the world.
Again, this latter point moves me on and in fact links to the latter of the last..
Recently I had a reserved seat on a train back from a long journey, so went down endless carriages to find it. I apologised to the woman for making her move her bag from the seat next to her (a small tactic for privacy we all use) however, she didnt smile or make eye contact at all. She was reading the whole way and every time I went into my bag or worked my mp3, she seemed to sink lower and lower into the pages of that book until the point where I honestly began to think she had forgotten her glasses. I imagined personalities for this person, who wanted to read and hide from me so badly.
Her clothes and features and demeanour suggested a soft, gentle woman; however, as we neared a popular station, she happened to call her (I assume) husband. She was stronger in voice than I had suspected, though as she suggested buying "salad bits" for tea, I couldnt help but feel smug that this was something I would have very much suggested for my imagined her.
I wonder, not for the first time, if I am, in fact, that weirdo that people dont want to sit near! I wonder still, how many imagined personailties there have been of myself and if any of them are close to the truth!?
Later, I watch a man on the platform, intellegent looking and well dressed- raise his arms in the universal sign for "what the hell are you on about?" at the announcement board!
So many people like to stare at my hair blatently , and whilst I dont mind, it makes me wonder if my apperance alone is its own performance? I certainly prevoke audiences and get a mixed reaction, I make people question things and I even seem to offer a source of entertainment. So?
Performance?
So, really, what is self help?
The saying goes that no man is an island, and I strongly believe in that, and have for some time. We lean on those around us, and they, as much as ourselves, can often be implemented or even be the cause of personal change. Of course, a person must be willing to change, and it goes without saying that trying to change someone will never be a successful endeavour.
However, for those amongst us with the relationship/financial/success/emotional problems that turn us to a self help book in order to seek assistance- is there not an element in which friends or co-workers would be useful aides? I often find myself in a situation in which a dark mindset settles upon me. In such a position one is perfectly able to tell themselves things of a positive nature; it'll be ok, you shouldn't worry so much, there's x, y, and z solutions- but personally, and I know others think the same; I can never lift myself out of these things; I cant believe myself. it takes someone else to tell me such a thing, even if its the same thing, for my spirits to brighten. Sometimes, it only takes a kind word and a silly joke, or a good movie- nothing I could have fixed on my own.
This, I know, is probably a source of self degredation, but then, its human nature. Who can honestly say that they know the sky is blue unless there is someone trusted to confirm it?
Now, this may be a futile argument, since those reading self help books, would of course, be prepared to engage and indeed indugle in self help.
Perhaps it is those finding lack of support from those around them, or those who do not wish to share their problems with friends (though this does go against John Bird's third step of honesty towards yourself and others) or indeed those who cannot/do not find comfort in the words of others, that reach for self help books.
Perhaps even the best of us finds difficulty in the possession of total inner strength.
Perhaps that is what self help books offer whatever charm thier title may suggest- wealth, friendship, love, happiness, whatever; perhaps they are after the same thing ultimatly. Inner strength. The knowledge and belief in ones self that anything you wish/that which you wish may indeed be possible.
However, for those amongst us with the relationship/financial/success/emotional problems that turn us to a self help book in order to seek assistance- is there not an element in which friends or co-workers would be useful aides? I often find myself in a situation in which a dark mindset settles upon me. In such a position one is perfectly able to tell themselves things of a positive nature; it'll be ok, you shouldn't worry so much, there's x, y, and z solutions- but personally, and I know others think the same; I can never lift myself out of these things; I cant believe myself. it takes someone else to tell me such a thing, even if its the same thing, for my spirits to brighten. Sometimes, it only takes a kind word and a silly joke, or a good movie- nothing I could have fixed on my own.
This, I know, is probably a source of self degredation, but then, its human nature. Who can honestly say that they know the sky is blue unless there is someone trusted to confirm it?
Now, this may be a futile argument, since those reading self help books, would of course, be prepared to engage and indeed indugle in self help.
Perhaps it is those finding lack of support from those around them, or those who do not wish to share their problems with friends (though this does go against John Bird's third step of honesty towards yourself and others) or indeed those who cannot/do not find comfort in the words of others, that reach for self help books.
Perhaps even the best of us finds difficulty in the possession of total inner strength.
Perhaps that is what self help books offer whatever charm thier title may suggest- wealth, friendship, love, happiness, whatever; perhaps they are after the same thing ultimatly. Inner strength. The knowledge and belief in ones self that anything you wish/that which you wish may indeed be possible.
Musings on a bus journey and people watching.
So, I'm sitting here on the bus, oppositte me is a man. He's a buisiness man, well dressed, black, nice shoes, bald, handsome enough, early 30's perhaps.
At first glance, I thought he was asleep, I couldnt help but notice however a small, very tacky set of light blue plastic rosaries in his hands- the type you might see a child wearing as a fashion accessory.
This made me wonder about self help.
I wouldnt dream of saying that his God may/may not help this man (any beliefs I might hold are irrelevant here) however, the act itself, is of self will- in confessing your problems to someone, and in the case of religion and prayer, to the ultimate someone (surely His judgement is far worse than that of a mother or friend you may also confide your problems in) he is taking the first step towards helping himself.
Is not the saying "The first step is admitting you have a problem" ?
So whether the prayer will, later, find devine help, assistance or strength- there is a process of pure catharsis and relief in the very act of prayer itself.
At first glance, I thought he was asleep, I couldnt help but notice however a small, very tacky set of light blue plastic rosaries in his hands- the type you might see a child wearing as a fashion accessory.
This made me wonder about self help.
I wouldnt dream of saying that his God may/may not help this man (any beliefs I might hold are irrelevant here) however, the act itself, is of self will- in confessing your problems to someone, and in the case of religion and prayer, to the ultimate someone (surely His judgement is far worse than that of a mother or friend you may also confide your problems in) he is taking the first step towards helping himself.
Is not the saying "The first step is admitting you have a problem" ?
So whether the prayer will, later, find devine help, assistance or strength- there is a process of pure catharsis and relief in the very act of prayer itself.
How to change your life in & steps. John Bird.
The next few posts are directly written up from scrawled notes I took on Busses and trains.
John Bird, founder of the big issue started his life on the streets selling magazines gotten from a basement from a young man pretending to create student magazines and peddling them throughout the city- that young man was Richard Branson.
Whilst Bird's writing style seems a lot more personal and believable than the slightly patronising support of Harrold, I found quickly that he uses many of the same techniques she uses in her writing.
Self help authors often tell people's stories, their own and people they've known, often in Fiona Harrod's case she seems to do so in an attempt to prove that she can help people.
The stories are supposed to be there for us to relate to, and Bird tells us often that almost everyone has had depression or hard times, or problems like our own (readers). We're all the same. We're all human.
Likewise Bird talks of victimism, that those victims in the world are those that see themselves as such, that blame the world and others for thier problems.
Does this really help us though? Deep down, I'm sure even these victims know that they're not the only ones having problems know that they're not the only ones having problems in the world and the difference actually is, as Bird seems to fail to note, is that really the problems we have, seem worse than the problems, simply because they are actually happening to us. Both authors also seem to fail to see the personality within personal problems.
Self help books seem so far, to be cheap psychology that finds the root of all problems to be fundamentally the same, and can all be changed with self motivation and positive thinking.
None of the advice is personal, rather it is all wide angled and designed to 'work' on any reader of any kind.
To me, this lie of thinking is akin to that of something such as cold reading. It offers the client with the illusion of deeply personal counselling and insight, which can change their lives, when really, it offers a series of notes and steps found within the human condition, in almost every person alive.
-----------------------
I later made these short notations
"Give yourself a new label"
I noted this I think because Ive never agreed with people giving themself labels. Bird suggests you label yourself, not the "out of work lowlife" and rethink your life with a goal, for example label yourself "the caring father" if you think as yourself as such, you can easily become such.
This seems a good idea, but a little simple, I could easily label myself a hocky player, but unless I actually learn to play the sport the label will just be a personal lie, which goes against the writers third step about not lying to yourself or others.
"Refuse to hang around with victims"
The victims he refers to are those having problems in life and not allowing them to see their own way out. However, I feel this is a cruel idea, and allows the oppertunity for people to cut all ties with a reader, until he puts the ideas of the book into practice. I think people who are victims often need more than a book, they need friends and family to help them through hard times.
John Bird, founder of the big issue started his life on the streets selling magazines gotten from a basement from a young man pretending to create student magazines and peddling them throughout the city- that young man was Richard Branson.
Whilst Bird's writing style seems a lot more personal and believable than the slightly patronising support of Harrold, I found quickly that he uses many of the same techniques she uses in her writing.
Self help authors often tell people's stories, their own and people they've known, often in Fiona Harrod's case she seems to do so in an attempt to prove that she can help people.
The stories are supposed to be there for us to relate to, and Bird tells us often that almost everyone has had depression or hard times, or problems like our own (readers). We're all the same. We're all human.
Likewise Bird talks of victimism, that those victims in the world are those that see themselves as such, that blame the world and others for thier problems.
Does this really help us though? Deep down, I'm sure even these victims know that they're not the only ones having problems know that they're not the only ones having problems in the world and the difference actually is, as Bird seems to fail to note, is that really the problems we have, seem worse than the problems, simply because they are actually happening to us. Both authors also seem to fail to see the personality within personal problems.
Self help books seem so far, to be cheap psychology that finds the root of all problems to be fundamentally the same, and can all be changed with self motivation and positive thinking.
None of the advice is personal, rather it is all wide angled and designed to 'work' on any reader of any kind.
To me, this lie of thinking is akin to that of something such as cold reading. It offers the client with the illusion of deeply personal counselling and insight, which can change their lives, when really, it offers a series of notes and steps found within the human condition, in almost every person alive.
-----------------------
I later made these short notations
"Give yourself a new label"
I noted this I think because Ive never agreed with people giving themself labels. Bird suggests you label yourself, not the "out of work lowlife" and rethink your life with a goal, for example label yourself "the caring father" if you think as yourself as such, you can easily become such.
This seems a good idea, but a little simple, I could easily label myself a hocky player, but unless I actually learn to play the sport the label will just be a personal lie, which goes against the writers third step about not lying to yourself or others.
"Refuse to hang around with victims"
The victims he refers to are those having problems in life and not allowing them to see their own way out. However, I feel this is a cruel idea, and allows the oppertunity for people to cut all ties with a reader, until he puts the ideas of the book into practice. I think people who are victims often need more than a book, they need friends and family to help them through hard times.
Saturday, 22 August 2009
Be your own life coach. Fiona Harrold.
This was the first self help book I picked up off of the pile on my bedroom floor. The front cover glows a warming orange and promises that the book explains
"how to take control of your life and achieve your wildest dreams"
Now on reading the introduction and first chapter of this book I found myself confused since Harrold keeps making promises to the reader to be one hundred percent committed to you. This I find a paradoxical imposibility. Though Harrold wrote her own book, she cannot possibly offer one hundred percent commitment to any one in life, let alone the hundreds of readers of her book- and I doubt highly that if any of them ever managed to find her and ask a favor, whether she would comsent to do it. Now, I realise of course that the commitment she talks of is nothing of a real sort that one would want from a friend for example- however I find it almost insulting that a book tries to suggest it can offer such a thing. One must first be committed to the book itself, and all it teaches, and then, of course, the book can start working for you, so really, you're committed to yourself are you not? She often talks of working together (etc) and whilst this is the style of the book, it seems strange to me, I cannot possibly take anything from the pages of a book that suggests anyone offering me real help. That is something that stems from my scepticism, I know. I also feel however that suggesting that this one book can for example "help you to clarify your desires" or "motivate you" is a falicy since these are things unique to any one person and change hugely from person to person- so how is it that such help can be offered?
Still I will attempt to hold my reservations on the style of writing long enough to go ahead with some of the tasks in the book at least- the first of which comes at the end of the first chapter, labeled "an exercise" (the next task is to sign a mock up 'contract' also signed by the author promising you will be commited to the programme...perhaps an attempt psudo-pyschcology in an attempt to clarify in a readers mind the idea of commitment).
An Exercise.
"Now I want you to spend a few minutes writing down five things you've always wanted to do but havnt got around to so far, or have dismissed as impossible. Dont thing about this for too long. Just see what you come up with. Write down, beside each goal, two reasons you havnt managed it so far...." (page 19)
Then
"Make a list of five ways in which your life would be different if you used this book to transform the way you look at yourself."
1. Travel to Japan -not enough finance
-have not arranged it with friends/family members who would go with me.
2. Learn to speak Japanese. -I know it will be difficult
-I did not want to commit myself to learning new things/lazy.
3. Learn Free Running/ Par Kour. -Too afraid to hurt myself
-Did not want to go it alone
4. Sing in a musical. -Afraid I am not good enough of a singer
- Never auditioned for one/too scared.
5. Learn to make my own clothes -Many unfinished projects through lack of skill
-Have never committed myself to learning
1. I would have more confidence to do things that scare me
2. I would have a better physical self image
3. I would not be afraid that I am not good enough
4. I would be more self assured
5. I would be more confident and perhaps therefore have more doors open to me/ do more things.
I am to keep these until the end of the book to look back on them and see if I have acheived what I wanted.
"how to take control of your life and achieve your wildest dreams"
Now on reading the introduction and first chapter of this book I found myself confused since Harrold keeps making promises to the reader to be one hundred percent committed to you. This I find a paradoxical imposibility. Though Harrold wrote her own book, she cannot possibly offer one hundred percent commitment to any one in life, let alone the hundreds of readers of her book- and I doubt highly that if any of them ever managed to find her and ask a favor, whether she would comsent to do it. Now, I realise of course that the commitment she talks of is nothing of a real sort that one would want from a friend for example- however I find it almost insulting that a book tries to suggest it can offer such a thing. One must first be committed to the book itself, and all it teaches, and then, of course, the book can start working for you, so really, you're committed to yourself are you not? She often talks of working together (etc) and whilst this is the style of the book, it seems strange to me, I cannot possibly take anything from the pages of a book that suggests anyone offering me real help. That is something that stems from my scepticism, I know. I also feel however that suggesting that this one book can for example "help you to clarify your desires" or "motivate you" is a falicy since these are things unique to any one person and change hugely from person to person- so how is it that such help can be offered?
Still I will attempt to hold my reservations on the style of writing long enough to go ahead with some of the tasks in the book at least- the first of which comes at the end of the first chapter, labeled "an exercise" (the next task is to sign a mock up 'contract' also signed by the author promising you will be commited to the programme...perhaps an attempt psudo-pyschcology in an attempt to clarify in a readers mind the idea of commitment).
An Exercise.
"Now I want you to spend a few minutes writing down five things you've always wanted to do but havnt got around to so far, or have dismissed as impossible. Dont thing about this for too long. Just see what you come up with. Write down, beside each goal, two reasons you havnt managed it so far...." (page 19)
Then
"Make a list of five ways in which your life would be different if you used this book to transform the way you look at yourself."
1. Travel to Japan -not enough finance
-have not arranged it with friends/family members who would go with me.
2. Learn to speak Japanese. -I know it will be difficult
-I did not want to commit myself to learning new things/lazy.
3. Learn Free Running/ Par Kour. -Too afraid to hurt myself
-Did not want to go it alone
4. Sing in a musical. -Afraid I am not good enough of a singer
- Never auditioned for one/too scared.
5. Learn to make my own clothes -Many unfinished projects through lack of skill
-Have never committed myself to learning
1. I would have more confidence to do things that scare me
2. I would have a better physical self image
3. I would not be afraid that I am not good enough
4. I would be more self assured
5. I would be more confident and perhaps therefore have more doors open to me/ do more things.
I am to keep these until the end of the book to look back on them and see if I have acheived what I wanted.
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